Colleging like a pro

Yesterday was oddly eventful, which isn’t surprising because it was a day at College.

This one guy who is so hipster it isn’t even funny, was freaking out over a lump on his groin. It is a well known fact that every lunch time he goes and, as Jahn our instructor calls it ‘bonking off’ with his girlfriend. He also comes back late and really red like he’s just run a mile. I guess his lungs aren’t too good because he smokes and does all kinds of drugs.

Our instructor and the other instructor, combined have had crazy lives and have so many tales. (I’ll get back to this later) hipster guy was asking our instructor about what the lump could be. Our instructor looked uncomfortable and said to just book a doctor’s appointment. But hipster guy was still freaking out and to everyone’s alarm he put his hand down his pants and began to undo his trousers. I looked away at this point. Our instructor managed to stop him from pulling his trousers down, thank god.

Today hipster guy came in late because he went to the doctor’s, apparently he had sex so much that he ripped a muscle in his groin. Then instead of stopping and letting it heal, he continued to ‘bonk’ and so now has a build up of scar tissue.
I felt slightly illl after that, but not as ill as when the other girl (recently turned veggie) said that eating chicken eggs is like eating a chicken’s period.

I had my driving lesson yesterday evening after college, usually it is pitch black and raining but yesterday was a freak of nature. It was daylight and not raining. It was so weird. I did dual-carriage way driving and got up to 60mph, the fastest I have ever driven. Minus driving the go-cart/lawn mower/motor boat.

Today college closed early because it was practically under water. In the morning there was a BBC van parked outside college and I was very tempted to go and wait, then wave when they started filming. But alas, it was no more. On the other side of the river was an ITV van, all they needed next was Sky to swoop in a helicopter.




6 thoughts on “Colleging like a pro

  1. Wow, it’s not THAT bad over here at school, but the river’s gotten pretty high. Hipster Guy sounds gross, but to be honest I’m just amazed he’d frick fracked so much that he broke his dick. Quite impressive, really. But I really do think he should take his doctor’s advice and lay off it for a while…

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