Apprenticeship Take Two

I suck at blogging, I forget to go on, and then post spam you all in one day. We’ve finally got to the ICT side of the course and we are being taught by a bald guy with a goatee. I honestly need to get a photo of it.

I can now proudly name every single part of the motherboard in your average desktop computer. When it comes to laptops everything starts getting funky.


On a computer different sockets plug different things in, they are either male or female. For example (feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, I’m seeing how much I can remember) that a VGA and Printer port is female and they actually sated the word female. If the port has pins it is male, if not it is female.

This one guy was confused, really confused. Another guy helped with the situation, he said: ‘If your girlfriend has a pin then you should be worried.’

I was laughing, I think everyone was laughing.

It turns out that a USB is both female and male because it has both pins and no pins. There was a thoughtful silence until one guy shouted. ‘ITS A TRANNIE’

At this point I was crying. It was so funny. I can never look at a USB in the same way.

One guy said that whatever guy who came up this theory was obviously not getting laid. Who said it was a guy?

I feel real brainy sometimes and the only reason is because I have two monitors instead of one. I spend my free time opening as many windows as possible.


At lunch time me and my mate (if you can even call it that, he’s a dude friend and would probably freak out if I called him that, even friend would freak him out) went to Greggs and got two sausage rolls, he then gave the one to the homeless man outside of TKMaxx along with £1. When we got back to college he then realised that the homeless guy was better off than him, food and money wise.

Guys have weird trains of thought, at lunch I was wandering around with two of the guys and we were talking about secret santas. Then somehow they got onto the topic of femidoms. I was so shocked I walked into one of those free standing signs which kind of look like grave stones. They then had an in depth conversation about them. They kept on quizzing me about them, as if I had more knowledge than they did. I only saw one in Sex Ed and it scarred me for life.


A friend tried to talk me into going into my ex-high school’s winter ball. I declined because;

A) You had to ask a current student to get you a ticket, and since being back in the country I have tried to keep in touch and no one can be bothered to talk to me. Their loss.

B) Its too far away and too late. I just want to sleep.

C) I sometimes can’t be bothered socialising, it take far too much effort.

D) I don’t drink so its pretty pointless.

E) I only have one dress which I hardly wear. (It has so much dust on it)

F) Heels. Kill.

G) Girls are so judgy and bitchy. There are few exceptions.

H) I’m sure I’m probably never going to see any of them again because they are all going to Uni and I’m not.

I) They probably think I’m stupid because I failed my exams and think they are far more superior than me.

J) I frankly find it embarrassing and upsetting when people constantly ask me why the move back to NZ didn’t work out. I don’t really want to burst into tears in front of everyone.

K) I hate crying, this summer/winter (depending on which hemisphere you want to think about) was the first time in YEARS that I have cried for at least two weeks straight. Wait, I’ve never cried for two weeks straight before in my life…oh shit.

Now, enough with all this deep meaningfulness. I am going to tell you guys something amazing.

I taught my (sister’s) dog how to high five.


2 thoughts on “Apprenticeship Take Two

  1. Wow. I’m sorry I pressured you into going. I didn’t realise how hard it would be for you, to be honest, I think I just wanted to see you. It’s been so long. And HELLO INTERNET! I AM THE FRIEND! Also, I wore flat shoes and found that I was so much shorter than everyone else!

  2. Meh, I didn’t go to the ball either. I was watching Game of Thrones. Apparently it was good, but nothing too amazing so don’t worry – I don’t think you missed out on much 🙂

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