An Apprentice Review

I failed my AS-Levels, mainly due to moving countries and the stress of it all. Anyway, I won’t go into that because it just gets messy. In short, we moved countries, shit got weird, and then we moved back. So, technically I’m still a god damned foreigner.

I started an apprenticeship because I couldn’t get back into Sixth Form even though I technically passed. I didn’t want to go down a year, that would just be a waste of time. Instead I opted to start an ICT apprenticeship. I had the induction day yesterday.

The Review:

  • They were all Chavs.
  • I was the only girl.
  • One guy has an embryotic baby.
  • The guy with the baby is aged between 16-18.
  • There is a Scottish guy who sounds American.
  • I’m the only girl…did I mention that?
  • We practiced hand shakes.
  • Most of them have 5 GCSE’s at a grade C. It makes me look like a GOD. HELL YESS!!!
  • One guy looked incredibly shocked when I said  I had AS-Levels.
  • The fat blonde guy started a brick laying apprenticeship but got bored. I wonder why…
  • One guy thought he was dead hot in a suit and kept on sending selfies to his girlfriend.
  • One guy was moaning about how his girlfriend broke up with him and turned all his mates against him. At that point I imagined saying “The power of Women” and smiling like ‘Oh yeah, we’re that awesome’ . In actual fact I said it and did a weird grimace. It was the one time in my entire life where I actually said the awesome remark without just imagining it.
  • I keep on getting picked on to answer questions because I’m the only girl.
  • I managed to let it slip that I am in fact from New Zealand.
  • I actually talked to some of the guys (three of them).
  • I never talk to guys, win for me!
  • Some of the guys were exchanging stories on how to skip buying tickets on the train.
  • I took the bus home.

I hope to god they never find this…


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